Yearning to Bring People to God
God’s Calling: “Go Ahead!”
I have attended Christian schools since kindergarten and accepted Jesus Christ in primary school. It was not until I experienced a relationship setback in secondary school that I seriously committed myself to a church and had deeper experiences of God’s love and grace.
In 2020, my church pastor invited me to take on a church position, which I ended up not accepting, and I took a position with another company instead. However, God had been teaching me and nurturing me through my work, giving me lots of exposure to schools and opportunities to learn how to communicate with teachers, plan activities, understand the needs of the students, etc. It seemed God was encouraging me to reach out to and better understand the young people. In 2021, the pastor invited me to join the church full-time again. At that time, the church was understaffed due to the emigration, retirement, and resignation of pastoral staff. This made me seriously consider whether it was an opportune time for me to go for full-time ministry in the church. Then a nearly forgotten image came back to my mind, that is, at the end of a Christian concert in 2017, the speaker called out to invite brothers and sisters to stand up if they had the desire to serve full-time. I was hesitant, but the fervor in my heart urged me to bravely stand up in the end.
From that day on, I prayed and asked for God’s will. At that time, I was also having all sorts of worries in my heart about financial needs, my family’s reaction, and so on. God did not answer my prayers immediately but had me wait patiently until a Sunday service in December 2021. It was the last sermon preached by the seminary student intern at my church, and I was on duty in the audio-visual room. I was so absent-minded that day that I could not listen to anything. Miraculously, I heard alone the lyrics of the sermon response song, “Go ahead!” It dawned on me that it was God’s answer to me! Right then and there, I was convinced that He would make a way for me.
An Idea Germinating: Studying Theology
In my first year of ministry at the church, my brothers and sisters asked me when I would enter a seminary to study theology. I responded perfunctorily, “It is up to our Heavenly Father!” In 2023, the church announced the resignation of a minister, which gave me a big shock. A thought came to my mind: What should I do to bring brothers and sisters closer to God? I brought all my feelings to God, and the idea of entering a seminary emerged in my heart. Yet, I was unable to discern whether it was God’s will or not.
God’s providence was perfect. In June of the same year, I participated in a mission trip to Mongolia organized by the Hong Kong Baptist Mission. During the trip, I had the opportunity to talk with a local pastor about how she responded to God’s call to study theology at a seminary. She said, “It was all with a pure mind: to get well equipped to deliver God’s Word to brothers and sisters and lead them closer to God.” This inspired me to rethink the idea of entering a seminary: Is it not the purpose of studying theology, namely to equip oneself to lead brothers and sisters closer to God with the truth?
Not to Miss a Single One!
“Not to miss a single one!” This idea has haunted me since early 2023, when I was in preparation for a spiritual program on the mission trip to Mongolia. During the program, our pastor preached in the local churches, encouraging and calling the local brothers and sisters to be equipped for mission and evangelism. Unexpectedly, when I heard the pastor’s call to receive training for pastoral ministry, I struggled inwardly. Upon the pastor’s repeated appeals, I surrendered myself and responded with a determined show of my hand and dedicated myself to receiving training.
On this trip to Mongolia, I met two youth participants from different churches who shared that they had grown apart from God and were even feeling lost. Suddenly, “Not to miss a single one!” resurfaced in my mind and I longed to bring them back to God. This experience made me even more determined to equip myself to lead and shepherd every brother or sister closer to God through His Word.
On the Mongolia mission trip, there was a two-day retreat for our team, which included a meditation session in the grassland. There was a grassy field in front of me, and all I could see was just one little yellow flower surrounded by the grass. I closed my eyes and meditated on my ministry life. It was like being all by myself and feeling helpless and alone. But when I opened my eyes again, it was like a camera putting on a wide-angle lens and my field of vision widened. I saw that there were in fact small yellow flowers all around, only separated by the grass that they could not see each other. It seemed to tell me that I too was surrounded by brothers and sisters who were working together, fighting side by side, and accompanying each other. What a beautiful picture! I am convinced that God showed me through this imagery that He is my Shield, my Help, and my constant Companion.
As I look back, God did not give me a rough or difficult life but allowed me to receive His abundant grace and mercy every day, and to be lovingly nurtured by Him. I just want to say to the Lord, “I am willing to serve You for the rest of my life!”