Molding My Life
The Encounter with God
Touched by God’s unconditional love, I accepted Jesus Christ during the school’s Gospel Week evangelistic meeting in Form 2. When I was in junior high school, I encountered the first crisis in my life: my father suffered from myasthenia gravis (a chronic neuromuscular disease) and my family’s situation was rapidly declining. In Form 6, I became more active in church life. As I grew up, I realized that God is the Mighty Healer, Love, and Salvation; God can change people’s lives; and God is the greatest treasure of one’s life. During the difficult times my family experienced, God was the only One I could rely on. Despite all the hardships we went through, God brought the Gospel to my family one by one: first to my parents and then to my sisters. Within ten years, my whole family came to faith in the Lord. Thanks be to God!
The Beginning of My Calling
Some ten years ago, I attended a praise and worship celebration where the speaker made a call to full-time ministry, which I responded to with a passionate desire. Although I didn’t enroll in a theological seminary right away, I was always conscious that I was committed to serving God full-time. From then on, I experienced God’s transformation of my life over and over again. My father’s illness lasted for more than 10 years which made me deeply understand the feeling of helplessness and the complex needs a sick person experiences and the feelings and struggles of caregivers. In 2011, my first daughter was born, and I learned how to be a full-time mom and live a simple life. In 2014, my father-in-law passed away due to illness and I gave birth to my younger daughter (who was suspected of having Down syndrome before she was born but thankfully did not) which allowed me to learn a lesson in faith.
A Time to Wait
In the past ten years, taking care of my family has been the top priority in my life. As a family member of an ill person, I found that it is very important to strengthen the faith of the sick person and his/her family. God is our greatest support in these long battles with illness. Therefore, I asked, “Is it the right direction for me to become a chaplain? If I become a minister, how should I support the patients and their families?” When I became a full-time mother, I realized that women need pastoral care and support to cope with the challenges of marriage and motherhood. And again I asked, “Are women the ones I am to serve?” Regardless of the ups and downs, I am convinced that God kept building me up and preparing me through it all.
At certain points in my life, God asked me through messages in worship services or Bible conferences, “Do you still want to serve Me full time?” My response was always, “Yes, Lord, I do.” When my elder daughter started primary school and my younger daughter started kindergarten, I intended to answer God’s call. With the encouragement of my church pastor, I attended the Full-Time Ministry Exploration Camp at the Hong Kong Baptist Theological Seminary in 2017. During the camp, I was most excited about talking with the professors individually. It was then that Dr. Clement Shum affirmed my dedication to God and encouraged me to enroll in the program. However, after discussing with my husband, I realized that God’s time had not yet come because my two daughters still needed their mother’s close attention, and my husband had the same sense of calling. Finally, we decided that my husband, Tak-sum, would enter the seminary first, and I would go back to work at my alma mater to support him in his studies and take care of my family, which was also a way of responding to the Lord’s call.
A Time to Respond
When my husband was about to graduate, God subtly called me again. In the past few years, I had to teach Christian Education at the junior high school level as part of my job, and I realized that my Bible knowledge was insufficient. I had always longed to study God’s Word in depth, and I admired the way my husband shared what he was learning. Moreover, I was eager to devote myself to pastoral care and to take care of people’s spiritual needs. In September 2023, I spoke again with the pastor of my church, who encouraged me to seek a more definite calling before God. While waiting patiently, God gave me these verses:
“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” (Mt 13:44-46)
On October 15, 2023, Dr. Shum came to preach at my mother church. Through his preaching, God urged me to respond to His call, “Do you spare nothing and pour out everything for God?” We indeed had the burden of caring for our daughters and the financial needs of the family, but our Heavenly Father further strengthened my faith with the Scriptures in my devotion. Throughout October, God spoke to me through the story of Abraham’s sacrifice of Isaac, telling me to offer whatever I could for the Lord and He would surely provide for my needs. Therefore, I responded to God, “Here I am! Send me.” When my faith faltered, God always promptly responded and encouraged me not to look to myself for what I could do, but to look to God for what He would do. For more than a decade, I have been asking God for His time. When I look back at all these times, has God not been molding and guiding me? Now that I am being equipped at the seminary, let me be further molded and used by the Lord.