Testimony to God’s Change of Life

Return of the Prodigal Son

　　I decided to believe in Jesus in the early years of secondary school and started attending church in senior school. During my journey of faith, there has been a significant and indelible experience related to my baptism. The reason for my decision to be baptized was actually very straightforward. I simply could not deny the reality of God. For this reason, I decided to affirm and profess my own identity as a Christian. The church I attended happened to be the one my grandmother had been attending before; such a coincidence, I believe, was under God’s guidance indeed.

　　However, in 2014, when I intended to be baptized, I held it back from my family because my mother was strongly against the idea and my father took the same stand to sustain the family’s harmony. My elder brother was the only member of the family who supported me. Just days before the baptism, with the constant reminders and urges from the Holy Spirit, I finally told my family about my decision to be baptized, thus starting the agony I suffered before my baptism—my mother wanted to sever her parental ties with me.

　　Some time later, my elder brother told me all the worries, disappointment and anger that had been hidden in my mother’s heart, which were not just about my hiding the truth from her, but my previous negligence toward the family, lack of a sense of responsibility and conceitedness. All these things have shaped her perception of my faith and the church I attended. It was then that I realized how stupid I had been. I kept struggling within myself for hours. While I was praying, pictures of my past kept appearing in my mind, one after another, revealing the fact that God had all along been speaking to me through books, the Bible and different people’s words. I finally understood that what God had been telling me to do was “Repent and return.”

　　As a result, I went to my church with my mother, holding her hand. I apologized to the concerned staff and pastors that I was not going to join the upcoming baptism. Meanwhile, we met a number of church members I knew and I introduced my mother to them. Holding back my tears and putting aside the concern for losing face, I told them the news that I was not getting baptized. On the way home, I kept silent. To my surprise, my mother spoke first. She said, “I know this is the church your grandma attended. Everyone I saw there is a good person. Now I believe in the church you are attending.” Seeing my tears, she was filled with compassion for me and told me to return for baptism. Her change of mind shocked me so much that I felt my mother’s love for me again.

　　To show my regret, I did not opt for baptism at that very moment. Instead, the experience made me determined to go to church with my mother again and not to be baptized until I got the consent of my family. In 2016, I got the consent finally and was officially baptized. Today, it is also with their support that I decide to take up full-time theological studies.

　　Ever since this experience, whenever I read the Parable of the Prodigal Son, I cannot hold back my tears, because I have personally experienced God’s mercy on me, a sinner. I have sinned against heaven and I have sinned against someone dearest to me. I should not be worthy of my mother’s forgiveness, but God has given me the power to repent and even prepared ample grace for me. Since then, God has been speaking to me more and more. Especially when I ponder upon the Bible and life, God keeps testifying to the power and realness of His words.

Determined to Serve Teens

　　Talking about my calling, I may have to start with my participation in the leadership training program organized by my church when I finished secondary school. Under the program, participants had to design camping and summer activities for secondary school students. During the process, I found that I was quite approachable to secondary school students. This experience also developed my interest in serving the young. After that, although I did not have the chance to serve any teens at church, I had never put aside the aspiration to serve teenagers in the future. Even when I had started working, I still dreamed of preaching the Gospel to teens by teaching them guitar.

　　From 2015 to 2016, I worked in an evangelical bookstore. A number of books there had an impact on me. Among others, The Radical Disciple: Some Neglected Aspects of Our Calling by John Stott had a profound influence on me, creating my sense of mission as a Christian. Apart from books, there were also senior spiritual mentors in the institution who guided me and influenced me deeply. They have affirmed my direction of serving the adolescents and even encouraged me to take up full-time service in the church.

Clearing the Mind and Identifying the Direction

　　Under the guidance of God, I took up full-time service in my own church, serving the teenagers there. It appeared to be a comfort zone to me. However, looking back on the three years’ service there, I found that it was actually a place for me to challenge myself and clear my thoughts. It was also where I had experienced the most changes. I understood that I was not good at work involving interactions with others, nor did I have the experience and qualifications in this regard. However, the congregation did have expectations of its staff. In the first year of service, I had gone through both successes and failures. I had made wrong decisions while planning for a camp and had led Bible study groups in a very boring way. I felt powerless and did not know how to improve myself. The only thing I could do was to try taking others’ advice and face my frustrations positively, fine-tuning myself. During the period, I had asked myself whether I was really fit for church work, or whether I should have a new start somewhere outside. However, when I recalled my first thoughts of serving teens, I asked God again for more courage to face the situation.

　　As time went by, I discovered a number of changes in myself. I learned how to get along with others, and I learnt how to care for and comfort people. Above all, I found that I had identified my goal, which was not only to serve teenagers but also to see changes in their lives. I hoped God would use me to fulfill others’ lives. Otherwise, I was still willing to be patient and wait for their growth. God has molded me and changed my life, and I am always touched by this. For this reason, I also look forward to witnessing God’s work in other people’s lives.

Preach the Word and Discharge All the Duties of My Ministry

　　During my work at church, I attended a Bible study class run by a Bible teaching organization, almost every Friday. Time and again, God boosted my spirit through the verses we studied. Every time when I encountered difficulties or pondered an issue, be it in my service or my life, there must be some verses for me in the Friday Bible class, the most significant of which being 2 Timothy 4:2-5: “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.” The verses are not a reminder for me to correct others with the Bible; nor do they tell me to teach the Bible only. Instead they inspire me to make an effort to study the Bible well, so as not to hear the teachings selectively but to put what I have learned into practice and to walk with others. On the other hand, the verses remind me that whatever challenges and hardship I may be facing, I must still choose to do my utmost to serve God faithfully.

　　Through all these experiences, God has made my calling and direction clear today. He has also paved the way, step by step, for my service to Him. For this reason, I took up the present full-time program at the seminary, hoping that I will continue to get equipped and be used by my Lord.