It All Starts with a “Bold Prayer”

　　By God’s grace, I was born into a Christian family and am a second-generation Christian. Although I have known God since childhood, I was always very distant from Him and did not follow Him very seriously. I put myself before God in all matters, not fully seeking to serve or respond to Him. It was only when I was facing public exams in Form 6 and I was unsure about the future and the path ahead and feeling helpless that I was driven to take hold of God. Praying to the Lord became my way out of that helplessness. I remember making a deal with God: “God, if you let me be accepted by a university, I will be there to preach your gospel!”

　　Little did I know that this “bold prayer” six years ago would be the starting point for my journey for full-time ministry.

God’s Wonderful Arrangement

　　After the public exams did not go as I had hoped, I was not admitted by any university but after a few twists and turns, I enrolled in an associate degree course instead. During this period of my studies, in order to achieve better grades, I became more disciplined in my life, and my church life subsequently became more stable too. The Umbrella Movement occurred in the same year, and all these happenings provided me with an opportunity to reflect on my relationship with God. I took the initiative to read the Bible more often, instead of just taking on “second-hand faith” from others. It was then I discovered that the gospel of Jesus Christ is not only concerned with the salvation of the individual persons, but also with the needs of society and the world.

　　A year later, I was admitted by a university and my “bold prayer” of the past kept coming back to my mind. However, I just did not know how to start with, nor I have any direction in this regard. I had no idea at all how to respond to the Lord. But God always has a wonderful way of leading and arranging things. On the day I first set foot on campus, I was approached by a member from Campus Crusade for Christ who prayed with me and invited me to join them in their evangelistic activities on the university campus. I was stunned by the encounter, as if God Himself had reminded me to respond to my promises to Him. So, I began to get involved with Christian student groups at the university. It was there that I met a group of Christians who were very committed and eager to pursue God. Their pious lives inspired me to learn to live a Spirit-filled life with the Lord as my first priority, to break free from the chains of my old self with the help of the Lord and to dedicate my four years at the university to His use.

Suffering Turned into Blessing

　　I thought that as my spiritual life was being renewed, and I was growing spiritually and was beginning to respond to God, everything would go smoothly. However, I received a heartbreaking phone call on my way to campus for a morning prayer meeting one morning following the day I made such a resolution to follow Him. I was told that my grandfather died in an accident. I just couldn’t understand. I didn’t want to accept such reality, and I even complained to God with many bitter words — “I have just started to be ready to serve You, why do You let me go through this now?” Even though there was a lot of anger and sadness in my heart, this experience did not lead me astray from the Lord but on the contrary, became an opportunity for me to grow: I began to understand that the sovereignty of life was indeed in the hands of the Lord, and myself began to have a burden for lost souls. This made me even more eager to serve Jesus Christ and to preach His gospel. Gradually, God sowed the idea of full-time ministry into my heart.

Discerning the Lord’s Call

　　Although my aspiration for full-time ministry was somewhat clear, I was still afraid that my decision was made on an impulse and I may end up not being able to follow through. So, I decided to take a year to discern whether I really wanted to dedicate my life to serve God. Meanwhile, I did not let many people know my aspiration, so that I could focus on and be sensitive to God’s leading.

　　I planned to start with reading the Bible because I was convinced that I needed the Word of God in my life in order to be able to follow Him. However, this was quite a challenge as I have reading difficulties coupled with a lower-than-average attention span. At the beginning, I felt powerless and was discouraged by the many words that I had to read, and I could not focus on the messages in my mind. But the Holy Spirit reminded me that I could not rely on my own abilities to serve God, nor could I rely on myself to know Him. So, I prayed to the Lord and asked Him to help me read and understand His Word every day. As a result, I was able to follow my Bible reading plan with no hindrances for the rest of the year, and I finished reading the whole Bible for the first time after a year.

　　In addition, I began to gain more experience in ministry at university. Both my successes and failures helped strengthen my faith in God and increase my desire to serve. Meanwhile, from time to time and on different occasions, my friends and classmates asked me if I would be a preacher in the future, as if God was calling me again through their mouths.

　　Through all these experiences, I found that the Lord’s call to me was becoming clearer and clearer. It enabled me to pray to God with confidence, asking Him to continue to guide me and use me. After graduating, I returned to my mother church as a trainee, participating in full-time ministry in a church setting and gaining hands-on experience. Although social movements and the pandemic made my trainee experience very different from what I had imagined, this process of trying and exploring a new model of pastoral care allowed me to realize that full-time ministry was indeed what I longed for. So, I enrolled at the Hong Kong Baptist Theological Seminary, hoping to be better equipped and be ready to respond to the pastoral call.