The Lord’s Love Led Me to Step out on the Sea

Genatt with her mother and brother

　　I am a blessed “second generation believer.” Since I was small, I believed that as my parents told me, there is a Heavenly Father. And I personally experienced His help when I was in primary school. Since junior high school, I have participated in various mission trips where I was blown away by the works of God and my faith was strengthened.

Parallel Paths That Never Intersect?

　　I received my first calling from God when I was a Form 3 student, and the sense of urgency that originated not in myself is still felt to this day. Since then, my calling to missions has been confirmed time and again, and every time I was pressed by the Holy Spirit to respond. Hence, I always felt that the path I preferred and the one that God wanted me to take are two parallel paths that would never intersect. Moreover, I thought that entering a seminary was a journey of no return, and once I set foot on it, I could never turn back. This frightened me and I struggled over and over again: on the one hand, I wanted to equip myself for the Lord, but on the other hand, I was worried about losing myself and the opportunity to explore new possibilities in life.

　　By God’s grace, I did well in my public exams and undertook a number of internships in companies which owned well-known brands during my university years. However, after graduation, I could not even find a full-time job. I doubted myself and was dissatisfied with God, but God was patient with me in showing me that it was time for me to study at a seminary.

Step out on the Sea

　　Over the past two years, I thought a lot about my faith and there were many things I didn’t understand, but God is powerful: He continues to equip and shape me when I am still in doubt. The social movement in Hong Kong has provided me with more opportunities to talk with non-believing friends on the topics of faith and life, and I saw that people need hope. When I recalled the commitment of my pastors and the growth of the young Christians in my church over the years, it dawned on me that I should do the same. While not working full-time, I have had more capacity for conversations with God. It may be common for many believers being touched in a sermon or moved by a devotion or hymns, but more than once, I have received immediate responses from God through the little things in life, so I dared not ignore His will revealed in them.

　　Last year, I worked part-time in HKBTS’s Distance Education Program, and eventually attended the HKBTS Full-time Ministry Exploration Camp. On the first day of the camp, a teacher said that my calling was clear and that there was no reason not to study at a seminary. I was unconvinced at the moment, but when I thought about it that night, I truly could not raise a sound reason for not entering the seminary. On the very next day, another teacher encouraged me not to give up my passion for sustainable development, and that there were still possibilities for my future. I was so touched by my Heavenly Father who showed me how He understood me. As I walked to the beach in tears, He reminded me with the lyrics of a hymn: “Step out on the sea, let go of all fears, there is no fear in love.” My Heavenly Father who knows me so well was calling me to take courage and step out for Him, how can I refuse?

The Shock of Entering the Eye of the Storm

　　That said, there was still a trembling storm in my heart before my school term at the seminary started. I felt there were chaos and confusions ahead of me; the thoughts of building relationships with a new group of people and studying the seemingly difficult subjects were scary. Miraculously, God’s response this time was not to change my perspective on the storm, but to allow me to experience the moment of calmness when I entered the eye of the storm.

　　All my worries disappeared on the first day of the semester. After the lecturers’ introduction, every subject sounded interesting. And I was getting along with my fellow students well. I received unprecedented recognition from this group and saw that there were endless possibilities for my future. To this day, everyone I have met has convinced me that there is no better time to start my studies than now.

Let’s Shine Together to the End

　　I didn’t understand why God put me through those days of destructions. But now when I think about it, I find that I probably would not be as sensitive, understanding, and well learned about loving and being loved as I am now if things had gone well for me. In the last two years, while I achieved virtually nothing by the world’s standards, God has shown me, through the people around me, with a love I didn’t deserve that I am valuable and worthy of being loved. Now I am both a person better prepared for ministry and a person whom I like. It turns out that the self God is pleased with and the self I like can be the same.

　　While the sky is dark at night, a starry sky is therapeutic; the stars don’t even have to shine continuously or fill the whole sky so as to have the heart healing effect. May all of us who follow Jesus be the light of the world. May we all be brave and persevere by the grace of God, and support each other in our weaknesses, and shine together to the end.