To Be Your Vessel
Ng Wai-ying
(M.Div.)
Before I began my studies at the seminary, I had never heard of theologians or their writings, church history, theological approaches, differences among various denominations, or extracanonical literature such as apocrypha and pseudepigrapha. At that time, I was simply a lay Christian who was devoted to serving God. However, I was then called by God and gained pastoral recommendations to study at HKBTS. The theological training I have received in the past three years has allowed me to experience how great and awesome the Lord is and to become a more knowledgeable servant.
The Rich Wisdom of God’s Word
During the past three years, I have been touched countless times in the lectio divina meetings by the Lord’s glory as described by saints throughout the ages. Countless times I have been amazed by the richness of the Christian faith as discussed by different theologians. All these experiences have allowed me to better understand the Lord’s greatness, which transcends time and space. On one occasion, in particular, I deeply experienced my own transformation by the Holy Spirit.
When I studied a course on Deuteronomy two years ago, my impression of the book remained superficial; I thought that it was just a boring and lengthy book. When the teacher instructed us to write an exegetical paper about it, I planned to hastily complete such a boring assignment by making references to a few commentaries only. I still remember we were asked to study the levirate marriage mentioned in just six verses in Deuteronomy (Dt 25:5-10). However, owing to my own feelings of boredom with the assignment, I kept procrastinating, which put me under greater and greater stress as the deadline neared.
Soon, it was only two days before the deadline. Leaning back on the chair, faced with a blank word file, a couple of commentaries, and several academic articles, I kept asking God, “Lord, it’s just six verses! What keeps me from writing to explain them?” To my surprise, after 15 minutes, when I was staring at those commentaries, tears welled up in my eyes. My heart was filled with surging admiration: Why were so many Bible scholars driven to discuss these six verses in such lengthy studies? As a result, I could not stop reading, up to 15 articles, throughout the night, all concerning the explanation of those few verses. That day, I kept praying fervently, repenting for looking down on God’s word. Starting from that moment, I could not stop the desire to share with others: God’s word is rich and His understanding is infinite.
God Called My Name
What amazed me more was that God not only let me experience the wonder of His word, but also made me truly realize the deepest calling of this Wonderful Counselor in my life. Before studying at the seminary, I had little feeling about my name. “Wai-ying” is just a way others refer to me and I am an ordinary individual. When my parents named me “Wai-ying,” they wished I would become a clever child, with such rich (Ying) wisdom (Wai) that it resembled a vessel overflowing with wisdom. However, I barely managed my studies in the past, failing to live up to my parents’ expectations. This was a reason why I had developed a kind of remoteness to my own name. I remember the time when I shared my calling with my pastor, I read a number of books about how to discern God’s calling and coincidentally those books all began with the same theme–how God calls you. At that time, I kept meditating on my name many times, praying and asking God, and yet, without any inspiration. Finally, I chose to set the matter aside.
However, during the three years of my seminary study, I was stunned by God’s infinite wisdom again and again, and similarly, I kept wishing I would become truly “rich” in “wisdom.” The Bible, God’s Word, is really so rich that I persistently wished to go deeper in its study and understand it more. I also wanted to proclaim to others the greatness and wonders of God and when I did so, I found that it was the moment I enjoyed the greatest freedom and could become myself. After the exploration and learning in these few years, I finally realize today how God called me. Lord, may I become Your “Wai-ying” and be Your vessel, filled with Your wisdom so that I will not stop sharing with brothers and sisters the greatness that overflows from You.