The Best Reward for Life’s Impermanence

Connie with her husband and daughter

　　I still recall my praying to God in late 2014 when I faced the unfolding events in society, asking Him how I could shepherd His flock. My heart carried a particular burden for college students and young individuals who are just starting their careers, as both groups were profoundly affected by circumstances. In response, God stirred within me, prompting me to delve deeper into the study of His Word, and utilize His gracious teachings and promises to walk alongside my fellow brothers and sisters in their times of suffering. Thus, with concepts like “suffering,” “God’s Word,” and “shepherding” in mind, I enrolled in the Master of Theology program at the seminary.

Grace amidst Life’s Impermanence

　　From 2015 to 2023, over eight eventful years, I witnessed my daughter’s transition from kindergarten to primary school and encountered my own health challenges that led to hospitalization and surgery. Simultaneously, a former deacon of my church, whom I am close to, experienced the tragic loss of a family member in a traffic accident while on vacation. In addition, we also had to face the 2019 social events, followed by a once-in-a-century pandemic that lasted for three years. These are experiences that are difficult for anyone to go through. However, what made things even more challenging in early April this year was when my mother-in-law suddenly died from an acute disease while vacationing with us in Seoul. The sorrow and helplessness of the sudden loss of a loved one are indescribable.

　　Besides needing to settle our emotions, we had to manage the complex procedures and arrangements for the funeral. Just two weeks after returning to Hong Kong, my father-in-law was hospitalized for emergency surgery due to acute appendicitis, nearly missing the opportunity to attend my mother-in-law’s memorial service. My husband had to endure the pain of losing his mother and at the same time worry about his father’s health. All I could do was to accompany him and offer prayers. I also had to cope with the final semester of my studies at the seminary and an overwhelming workload at my church. Looking back, I have no idea how I managed to get through those tumultuous times. Many nights, I felt so helpless and weak that I didn’t even know how to pray. But the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart gently: “Rest assured, I am still by your side, and My grace is sufficient for you,” and “Do not worry, for I will take care of everything.”

　　In the days that followed, the difficulties did not instantly disappear, but I witnessed the gracious hand of God at work. We were able to overcome the obstacles and transport my mother-in-law’s body back to Hong Kong. My father-in-law was granted permission to leave for three hours to attend my mother-in-law’s funeral. Meanwhile, I fulfilled my preaching and teaching responsibilities at my church without encountering any obstacles. Through it all, I deeply realized that even when I did not know how to pray, a multitude of intercessions enveloped my family, providing us with steadfast support.

Living Well with Our Allotted “Portion”

　　Reflecting on the autumn of 2022, when I was studying Ecclesiastes at the seminary, I realized that our heavenly Father had already reminded me that there is a time for everything—a time to be born and a time to die. Many aspects of life, including birth and death, lie beyond our control (Eccl 3:1-8). The research topic I chose for my final course assignment was “Justice in Ecclesiastes.” Though the justice of God may not always be readily apparent in this impermanent world, He reigns with His own timing and authority (9:11, 12:14). Ecclesiastes emphasizes that each person has his or her allotted “portion” (2:10; 3:22; 5:18; 9:6, 9 ASV; sometimes translated as “reward” in the ESV), and we cannot determine the measure of our “portion.” Nevertheless, we must learn to live well with our “portion,” cherishing the blessings that come with it (9:7, 9). We must also embrace the impermanence and adversities within it (9:11-12) while remaining grateful for God’s provision, cultivating a reverent fear of Him and remembering all that He has done (3:14, 12:1, 13).

　　This life lesson is far from easy to grasp. However, our heavenly Father personally shepherded me through His Word amidst suffering, allowing me to experience His grace within my own “portion” and to understand life’s limitations and His provision. In addition to God’s abiding presence, I am immensely grateful for the companionship of two classmates from the Master of Divinity program during my final semester. They supported, encouraged, and fervently prayed for me during my most challenging moments, empowering me to persevere and complete my final assignments. God paved my path with all kinds of abundant grace!

　　As we, the graduating class, continue our ministry and traverse the journey of life, my sincere hope is that we not only recognize the difficulties and challenges but also encounter God’s unwavering provision and care within our allocated “portion.”