The Divine Mandate of Spiritual Parents: Paul as Our Role Model

The Church as a Big Family

　　In the early church, believers regarded each other as family, addressing one another as brothers and sisters. This familial imagery carried a deeper significance, representing the unique relationship between parents and children—a unique relationship between a minority of high-standing church founders and the church members they led to God and pastored. This was a significant relationship, which was akin to the gracious bond between children and their physical parents who gave them life and care. Parents are considered “patron” to their children, and children are expected to obey their fathers’ authority and instructions and show respect to their parents.

Paul and the Corinthians: “Father” and “Children”

　　In the context of this tradition, Paul referred to the Corinthians as “children” (1 Cor 4:14) and himself as their “father,” “in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Cor 4:15; cf. 4:17; 1 Thes 2:8, 11; Phlm 10.) ¹ When Paul said he had “begotten” the Corinthians (1 Cor 4:14 ASV; “became your father” ESV), he was referring to his role in founding the church during his first visit to the city of Corinth (AD 50-52). When he wrote 1 Corinthians, recalling the incident, he had departed from Corinth for two to three years (around AD 54-55). Later, questions arose concerning Paul’s apostolic authority, causing tension in his relationship with the Corinthians. During this period, Paul made a second visit to Corinth, which resulted in a painful encounter (2 Cor 2:1-2). Subsequently, Paul wrote a “tearful letter” (2 Cor 2:3-4) in an attempt to mend his relationship with the Corinthians.

　　If we assume that 2 Corinthians is one single letter from the beginning, rather than composed of different fragments of letters, then this lost “tearful letter” should have a positive impact. From 2 Corinthians 1–7, we can see that Paul felt relieved and comforted due to the Corinthians’ turning back in response. Unfortunately, this sense of relief was short-lived, as Paul received bad news before sending 2 Corinthians 1–9: ² some Corinthians were comparing him unfavorably to other visiting teachers, criticizing his oratory skills (2 Cor 10:10; 11:6), and his rejection of their financial support (11:7). He was less acceptable than the teachers known as “super-apostles.” Paul was also accused of only pretending not to accept financial support from the churches while supposedly pocketing the offerings intended for the poor in Jerusalem (2 Cor 12:16).

　　In the face of these accusations, Paul immediately continued to write 2 Corinthians 10–13, using more intense and forceful language than in chapters 1–9. Paul first defended his seemingly weak performance (10:1-18) and then employed irony in a Fool’s Discourse to counter the queries from the “super-apostles” (11:1–12:13). Finally, he announced his plan to make a third visit to Corinth and responded emotionally to the accusations of deceit (12:14–13:4). In 2 Corinthians 12:14-15, Paul again used the language of “parents” and “children” (see 2 Cor 6:13) to describe the special relationship between himself and the Corinthians:

Here for the third time I am ready to come to you. And I will not be a burden, for I seek not what is yours but you. For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls. If I love you more, am I to be loved less?

Parents and Children: Not Patrons and Clients

　　In these two short verses, Paul used four money-related verbs: “to be a burden” (katanarkaō), “to store up” (thēsaurizō; “to save up” ESV ), “to spend” (dapanaō), and “to exhaust” (ekdapanaō; “be spent” ESV). When Paul announced his plan to visit the Corinthians for the third time, he declared in advance that he “will not be a burden [to you]” (v. 14). This resonated with the previous section (11:1–12:13) where he had used the same verb twice to describe how he had never requested nor accepted gifts from the Corinthians (see 11:9; 12:13). The verb “to be a burden” was commonly used in the context of patron-client relationships, where clients, after receiving favors, were obligated to demonstrate loyalty and support to their gracious patron, upon whom they often depended for their livelihood. Paul neither requested nor accepted financial support from the Corinthians, choosing instead to work with his own hands and be self-sufficient. This not only went against the common practice accepted in the early church (1 Cor 9:4-14) but also contradicted Paul’s own teaching (Gal 6:6) and practice (2 Cor 11:8-9; Phil 4:15-18). Furthermore, it might have been seen by the Corinthians as a rejection of their friendship and interpreted as an insult, possibly even displaying hostility. This also provided a pretext for both internal and external opponents to question Paul’s apostolic authority and integrity.

　　Paul explained his deviation from the customary practice of accepting financial support from the churches in 1 Corinthians 9:15-23. He presented the gospel free of charge (1 Cor 9:18) because it was part of his calling and thus a “necessity” for him (1 Cor 9:16). He believed that by doing so, he had made himself a servant to all and could then “win more of them” (1 Cor 9:19). Paul might have also considered the practical situation: accepting monetary support from the Corinthians (actually it was the money from the relatively well-off ones among them) could exacerbate factionalism within the churches and turn him into a client of those who loved boasting (i.e. a burden to them), losing his freedom to preach the gospel truth. Paul refused to be a burden to the Corinthians just to avoid this possibility, ensuring their relationship would not be distorted into the patron-client dependency typical of societal and cultural norms.

Unconditional Giving

　　Paul’s practice of “not becoming a burden to others” was, however, questioned as a deceptive tactic to trap the believers (2 Cor 12:16). Besides presenting factual arguments (12:17-18), Paul also used the common practice of parents “saving” for their children to illustrate his unconditional giving to the Corinthians (12:14c): “For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.” Paul emphasized that he was the Corinthians’ “spiritual father,” not a client. He was not a burden to the church, requiring them to provide for his livelihood. Instead, just like a father, he provided for their daily needs and labored tirelessly for them physically and emotionally. When Paul used the imagery of parents and children, there are three aspects worth noting.

　　Firstly, the image of a father who is wholly concerned for the well-being of his children and has no selfish motives is an emotional relationship that Paul had already expressed earlier when he said, “For I seek not what is yours but you” (12:14b). Paul distinguished between “what is yours” (or “your possession”; Greek ta humōn) and “you” (humas). This contrast echoed his statement in the following verse, where he described how he “spent” for his “spiritual children.” In 2 Corinthians 12:15, Paul said, “I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls.” In the first part of the sentence, “spend” does not have an explicit object, but the context implies one, “I will most gladly spend [what is mine (ta mou)] … for your lives.” “Be spent” in the second part of the sentence is in the passive voice, which can be expressed in an active voice, “and I spent (myself) for your souls.” ³ In other words, for Paul, what he desired was not “your possessions” but “you.” Correspondingly, what he was willing to expend was “his own possessions” and even “himself.”

　　Secondly, when Paul explained why he gave selflessly to the believers, he could have used a Christological argument, just as in the cases in his other letters. For example, in Philippians 2:6-8, Paul encouraged the Philippians not to be selfish and to have an attitude of humility toward others instead, pointing to Christ who did not insist on equality with God but emptied Himself, and showing Christ as the model for selfless giving. Also, in 2 Corinthians 8:9, Paul encouraged the Corinthians to renew their enthusiasm for the collection to the churches in Jerusalem: “[our Lord Jesus Christ] was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.” However, in 2 Corinthians 12, Paul did not employ such advanced theological concepts but instead chose to use commonly accepted ethical principles. Although there were many other aspects to the ethical principles concerning parents and children at the time (such as the supreme authority of fathers and the absolute obedience of children, or the obligation of children to care for their parents when they had needs like old age or illness), Paul specifically emphasized the aspect of parents providing unconditionally for their children in terms of finances and material possessions. This viewpoint aligned with the prevailing Hellenistic and Jewish culture of that time. ⁴

　　Lastly, it is noteworthy that when Paul used the imagery of “parents” and “children” in his letters to the Corinthians, it often had a polemical rhetorical purpose. In 1 Corinthians 4:15b, he said he had fathered the Corinthians through the gospel in Christ Jesus. In the first half of the verse, he said, “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers.” “Guides” referred to household slaves or hired attendants at that time. While fathers were not physically present, they would lead the children to the schoolhouse and back home and were assigned the duty of overseeing their conduct in general. Although the Corinthians were influenced by many popular teachers or leaders during Paul’s absence, Paul emphasized that he was their sole father, and thus, they should imitate this unique father, rather than others (4:16).

　　In 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 and 7:2-4, Paul urged the Corinthians to open their hearts to him with the same sincerity. He pointed out an imbalance in their attitudes: “You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections” (6:12). Perhaps Paul found this expression too harsh and immediately used gentler words, emphasizing that he was speaking to them from the bottom of his heart as a father who had suffered for his children (6:4-10). He said, “In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also.” (6:13).

　　In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul introduced a new element into the imagery of parents and children: the idea of a father betrothing his daughter to a husband—Christ (11:2; cf. Hos 2:19-20). The Corinthians easily accepted another Jesus and received another Spirit from external teachers (11:4). Paul did not compare this behavior to children betraying their parents but viewed it as a wife being unfaithful to her husband. As the spiritual father of the Corinthians, Paul’s love for them was divine, akin to God’s jealous love (zēlos) for His people (11:2). Therefore, he was deeply grieved that their thoughts were being led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ (11:3).

The Divine Mandate of Spiritual Parents

　　Paul, as the “spiritual father” of the Corinthians, lived out the divine mandate of parents giving selflessly for their children. He served others without seeking personal gain from them. His desire for his spiritual children was for “themselves.” As for “their possessions,” including the material wealth and honor highly esteemed in society at that time, he was not interested at all. What he sought was “them,” their well-being, and their love and fellowship in Christ. Even in the face of difficulties and challenges, Paul was willing to endure all the dangers and threats, hoping that his sacrifices would contribute to the growth of others.

　　Today, how do “spiritual fathers” and “spiritual mothers” in the churches measure up to this example? How willing are ministers, pastors, teachers (including myself), and leaders to give for the spiritual lives of their “spiritual children”? Are they ready to give, regardless of how much they receive from the children in return?

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¹ Unless otherwise noted, all scripture quotations are taken from the ESV.
² In 2 Cor 8–9, Paul exhorted the Corinthians to renew their commitment to the collection for believers in Jerusalem.
³ This is similar to a saying of the philosopher Seneca of his time, “… good men expend, are expended, and, in fact, voluntarily.” See Seneca, On Providence 5.4 in BDAG, s.v. “δαπανάω” 1.
⁴ Philo of Alexandria said, “But since, in the natural order of things, sons are the heirs of their fathers and not fathers of their sons … .” See Philo, On the Life of Moses 2.245.