“Understanding Death, I Live”—Experience Sharing
“Understanding Death, I Live”—Experience Sharing
The “Understanding Death, I Live” Christian Life and Death Education Seminar, organized by LTED and co-organized by the Ngau Tau Kok Baptist Church, was held on May 28. The event was well-attended, with approximately 320 participants. The seminar began with lecture sessions where three speakers shared their different perspectives on life and death or their experience in promoting life and death education. These were followed by a panel discussion, allowing the three speakers to have interactions with the audience, creating a lively atmosphere.
When My Loved One Died…
The first lecture session was delivered by Dr. Andres Tang, Professor of Christian Thought (Theology and Culture) at our seminary. The topic was “When My Loved One Died … .” Prof. Tang sincerely shared his own experience, describing the impact of his wife’s passing on him, his understanding of death, and how he was able to rebuild himself through the love of the faith community.
Death: Disintegration of Life and Relationships
Prof. Tang reflected on his wife’s passing away from illness four years ago, which caused him to lose his footing in life, leading to a prolonged period of fear and panic. He pointed out that for the deceased, death is the disintegration of life. Similarly, for family and friends, the death of a loved one represents the rupture and disintegration of life. After the painful loss of his beloved wife, Prof. Tang lost his passion for life, and the world became a gray fog. For a long time, he couldn’t feel the joy brought by beautiful things around him; instead, he felt only pain.
Death: The Separation of Presence
The loss of his wife made Prof. Tang contemplate God’s original intention in creating humans and the embodied presence, or physical presence, that Jesus had with people throughout history. God created Adam and Eve to live together, embodying God’s desire for people to live within a community. The union of husband and wife as “one flesh” exemplifies their indivisibility. Therefore, the communal nature of humanity is most evident in the bonds of marriage. After being separated from his wife, Prof. Tang reminisced about the days when his wife was present, which made him appreciate more than ever the value of physical presence. Our Lord Jesus became flesh and dwelt among the disciples; His resurrection after death was also a resurrection of the physical body, not just a revival of the spirit. The human spirit interacts with God, other people, and the earth through the physical body, but death severs this kind of presence.
Eschatological Hope: Resurrection after Death
The loss of one’s better half means that the original “one flesh” is no longer complete. Prof. Tang candidly stated that this loss cannot be filled, and one can only coexist with this “loss” for the rest of one’s life. In the face of this deficiency and pain, what sustains us to move forward? Prof. Tang discussed the eschatological hope of resurrection after death. He quoted Jürgen Moltmann’s theology of hope, pointing out that whether we are alive or dead, we are in the resurrected Lord, so we are not completely separated from the deceased. However, even though he acknowledges this eschatological hope, he has to admit that such hope has not been fully realized in the present. In reality, he still has to endure the pain of separation from his wife and patiently persist.
Community Presence: Caring for One Another
Prof. Tang pointed out that in the face of separation, we can only reconstruct our world by relying on God’s grace and embracing eschatological hope. Such reconstruction involves returning to God’s original intention in creating life: caring for one another and being present for one another. Again, he quoted Moltmann’s words, stating that love is the foundation of hope because God loves us so much that Jesus Christ was crucified, being present with us in this suffering world, so that we may have hope and know that God has not abandoned us. Over the past few years since his wife’s passing, the community silently accompanied him, making him no longer feel lonely. This enabled him to endure the pain of his wife’s departure through the love of people before he experienced the realization of eschatological hope.
Life and Death Education in Churches
The second session was delivered by Rev. Agnes Yuen, the Pastor-in-charge of Evangelical Free Church of China Mong Fook Church. Rev. Yuen shared her discoveries and insights on this issue, starting with her experience of more than 20 years in pastoral care for the elderly. She reflected on the value of elderly people and discussed how she assists them in fulfilling their potential and planning for the remainder of their lives and beyond.
Re-evaluating Attitudes toward the Elderly
Rev. Yuen began her pastoral ministry for the elderly in 2000 and then had the opportunity to study geriatric pastoral care courses in the United States. She pointed out that society and church culture generally show respect for the elderly, and people at large do not consider themselves discriminatory toward them. Within the church, the elderly are highly respected and cared for as a group to be served. While this attitude is often seen as an expression of goodwill, Rev. Yuen believes it may indicate that the church does not view the elderly as valuable assets that can still contribute to the community. She suggested that this might be due to the stereotypes and labels unintentionally placed on the elderly, which is a form of discrimination.
Giving Voice to the Lives of the Elderly
Rev. Yuen said that she had gained a lot from various courses during her studies in the United States. The first lesson she learned was to give voice to the lives of the elderly, affirming that every life is valuable and remarkable. She emphasized that we should actively explore the hidden treasures that exist in the lives of the elderly and provide them with opportunities to showcase their talents. Rev. Yuen has since been devoted to discovering the gifts and talents of the elderly. While giving pastoral care to the elderly, she does not limit their participation in church ministry. She organizes a variety of activities to broaden their horizons and allow their experiences to speak, revealing the brightest elements of their lives.
Rev. Yuen has also produced two VCDs for the senior fellowship in her church, which are records of the lives of the elderly revealing the unique brilliance of their lives. These VCDs allow their families and friends to better understand them and showcase their lives being transformed by Jesus. Additionally, to unleash the potential of the elderly, Rev. Yuen has invited a Cantonese opera teacher to teach them how to write gospel Cantonese opera, allowing the elderly to fill in evangelical lyrics based on their understanding of the gospel. The church has recorded their creations and produced them into CDs, ensuring the preservation of their beautiful works.
Planning for the Rest of Life and Matters after Death
In addition to giving voice to the lives of the elderly, Rev. Yuen has written a handbook called “A Blueprint for a Fulfilling Life” to promote proper life planning from a faith-based perspective. The aim is to help elderly believers reconsider their lives and rediscover their potential, completing God’s plan for their lives.
Moreover, she has organized life-planning workshops in the church based on the book A Blueprint for a Fulfilling Life, teaching the book’s content over the course of a day. Furthermore, she has taken the elderly to visit funeral homes and Christian cemeteries, providing them with specific explanations of different funeral practices and coffin choices, allowing them to make plans for the final stages of their lives.
Life and Death Education in Community
The third session was delivered by Mr. Pasu Ng, the founder of Keep It Simple, a social enterprise in Hong Kong, and the founding president of the Hong Kong Life and Death Studies Association, who talked on the topic of “Life and Death Education in Community.” Mr. Ng shared his years of experience in promoting life and death education, including advocating for a body donation program at the Faculty of Medicine at the Chinese University of Hong Kong and establishing a funeral social enterprise to promote life and death education in the community.
Seizing the Opportunity and Understanding the Needs
Mr. Ng pointed out that each individual has different identities within different communities. Therefore, when promoting life and death education, it is essential to have a clear understanding of the community and the audience. We must translate our own set of values into appropriate language and convey them to others when they are in need. Death is a taboo topic for people in general, but if we can understand their needs and provide care and practical solutions when they face related issues, naturally they will not be resistant, and our values can be effectively communicated.
Synchronized Promotion Online and Offline
While Mr. Ng has often shared about life and death educational topics at various institutions, he felt that the number of people he could reach was limited. Therefore, he started utilizing the media in order to have a greater impact. Seven years ago, he set up a Facebook page related to life and death education, where he shared information on life and death issues. The page has since gained a considerable number of views. In the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, Mr. Ng organized online life and death education workshops in the community. He also created related video clips and published and distributed illustrated books within the community. Additionally, he uploaded the books online for free viewing. These illustrated books explore different aspects of life and death issues. In addition to these, he has spoken on radio programs about life and death topics.
Respecting Life and Understanding Grief
Mr. Ng worked for eleven years at the Faculty of Medicine of the Chinese University of Hong Kong, where he was responsible for promoting the body donation program. He believed that the key consideration behind body donation is whether there is respect for the donors and empathy for the bereaved, caring about their needs. At that time, the corridor wall outside the anatomy room at the Faculty of Medicine displayed nameplates of the body donors, showing respect and gratitude toward them. It also provided a space for the expression of grief for the families of those donors.
Establishing a Funeral Social Enterprise to Address Community Needs
During the pandemic, appreciating a rising need within the community, Mr. Ng left the Faculty of Medicine and, in 2020, founded “Keep It Simple,” a social enterprise that assists marginalized communities in arranging post-life matters and provides emotional counseling services for the bereaved. Later, they also started selling books related to life and death education to raise awareness within the community.
Additionally, Mr. Ng frequently led life and death education groups to share and exchange experiences with people in other cities. In 2019, he brought back the experiences gained from these exchanges and organized death-related experiential activities in Hong Kong, such as coffin-lying experiences and living funerals, which allow participants to personally experience the feeling of death, thereby learning to live in the present moment and love in a timely manner.
Finally, Mr. Ng concluded with Ecclesiastes 7:2. Reflecting on his work, he sometimes felt that what he had done might be insignificant, but it might hold profound meaning for those who were helped. He encouraged everyone to continue to maintain empathy, connect with people around them, and contribute to the community in creative ways to benefit others.
Hoping for More Sharing and Exchanges
After the lecture sessions, Rev. William Lam, Chief Chaplain of Pamela Youde Nethersole Eastern Hospital, facilitated a panel discussion with the three speakers. Together they engaged in discussion with the audience. Participants actively posed follow-up questions in response to the talks. The amount of interaction reflected how much the majority found the content of the seminar relevant to the theme, helpful and inspiring. In response to social demands, they expressed their hope for more similar talks in the future, exploring the issue from various perspectives. Owing to the richness of the event content, many participants expressed their desire for longer lectures and panel discussions in the future, allowing the speakers to share more experiences and fostering greater interaction with the participants.